Wrong Song
Working with Amelia's always going to be a gamble, but this time Janine's stacked the odds in your favour Cast * Jody Marsh * Amelia Spens * Sigrid Hakkinen * Janine De Luca * Maxine Myers Plot While They're Distracted Jody continues to reassure Amelia that everything's okay, much to Amelia's confusion. Jody carries on with the plan to use a recording of the Minister, supplied by Amelia, to open all the door locks in the facility, and the Ministry forces have to retreat. Never Used To Be This Bossy The Ministry distracted by the freed prisoners, you head for the real target in room B189. After some riffling you find the file, and leave a mess so the Ministry knows you've been there. Now it's time to rescue Amelia. Grab Amelia And Run! Jody does her best impression of caring about Amelia's welfare, while you use 'stolen' equipment to rescue her from the Minister. The Plan Is Working Perfectly You make it back outside the facility with Amelia in tow, and she is not pleased. Even Janine revealing that she's still alive, and this was all a recruitment mission, isn't enough to persuade Amelia to stay, but you'd still better keep an eye on her. Need To Get Out Of Here Amelia approaches a group of soldiers but doesn't quite get the welcome she's expecting. With the Minister threatening to shoot, you and Jody step in again to rescue your new friend. So Much Fun Together One furious tirade later, Amelia listens to Janine's full plan to double-cross a double-crosser. She's actually impressed at Janine's deviousness. Amelia finally accepts her fate, but Jody's glee turns to horror when she realises they'll be living together! S05E10 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript SAM YAO: What’s going on? Jody, Five, report. Oh, damn it! I wish I had access to cameras. I hate not being able to see! JODY MARSH: It’s alright, Sam. We have Sigrid trapped just as Amelia promised us. She warned us about the guards. We’re ready. AMELIA SPENS: Jody, what are you talking about? SIGRID HAKKINEN: Guards, hold your fire. I want to understand what’s going on here. What is she talking about, Miss Spens? AMELIA SPENS: I have no idea. I didn’t warn them about anything. Jody, Five, this is me betraying you. You can tell that, because you’re currently surrounded by armed soldiers. You really ought to surrender before they shoot you. I suppose I should be flattered you find it so hard to believe I’ve betrayed you. You always say I’m capable of anything, Jody. SIGRID HAKKINEN: Runner Four, Runner Five, I’d like to take you alive. I abhor needless waste. And if you two are anything, you’re survivors. I’d like to show you what I’m doing. I think you’ll want to work with me. But you’re also quite a major thorn in my side, and I’ll kill you if I have to. So this is your last chance. Drop your weapons, or my people will shoot. AMELIA SPENS: Do what she says, Jody. There’s no cause worth dying for. I found that out a long time ago. JODY MARSH: It’s okay, Amelia. Don’t lose your nerve now! That voice simulator you gave us will sort it out. Here! VOICE SIMULATOR: This is Sigrid Hakkinen, Minister for Recovery. Open all door locks. Security code three three six four sigma nine. opens JODY MARSH: Ministry prisoners! You’re all free! Now help us take down these guards! Now Amelia, get Sigrid! SIGRID HAKKINEN: What the hell are you doing? AMELIA SPENS: Nothing! I’m not doing anything. This is me very definitely not getting you. SIGRID HAKKINEN: So you’re going to deny that you supplied them with your voice simulation tech? AMELIA SPENS: Of course I’m going to deny it! It’s not true! JODY MARSH: Your cover’s blown, Amelia. There’s no point in denying it anymore. She knows the truth. Get over here so me and Five can protect you! SIGRID HAKKINEN: You’re not going anywhere, Miss Spens. Guards, take her, and get us out of here. We need to retreat to a secure position, now. JANINE DE LUCA: Well, don’t wait around, runners. They’ll re-establish control soon enough. You must obtain the secondary target while they’re distracted. Go! JODY MARSH: Room 189, right? SAM YAO: Yeah, that’s the one. Amelia told us it’s where they keep their classified weapons tech. She made a couple of deliveries for them there, because of course she did. We’re hoping they’ll leave it unguarded because they think our real target was the prisoners. sighs Talking of the prisoners, Janine, we did kind of let them out and then use them as meat shields against Sigrid’s troops. JANINE DE LUCA: We’ve given them an opportunity to free themselves. That’s more than they had before. And we’ve given the Minister some significant distractions. Knowing her, she won’t prioritize recapturing prisoners over finding out the truth about a valuable asset like Miss Spens. SAM YAO: Oh, yeah. External cams show some of the prisoners are already leaving the facility. JODY MARSH: B120, B150, B10. Ugh, is there any logic to this numbering system at all? SAM YAO: Maybe it’s some kind of top secret government code based off the first twenty digits of pi. JODY MARSH: But those aren’t the first twenty digits of – ah! Here it is. B189. Can you help me get this door open, Five? It’s heavy. Okay, we’re in. What are we looking for? JANINE DE LUCA: It’s Ministry policy to keep paper copies of all key files, in case of an EMP attack. That was once thought the most significant threat to the UK. JODY MARSH: Yeah, there’s a couple of filing cabinets over here. You take that one, Five. I’ll do this one. JANINE DE LUCA: You’re looking for anything about the weapons they’re using at Abel. Possibly under A for Abel, or W for weapons systems, or G for Greenshoot. JODY MARSH: Guns! Got it. It was under G for guns. JANINE DE LUCA: Guns? What kind of system - ? Never mind. Grab the file and get out of there. The sounds of fighting are dying down. The guards will have the place under lockdown soon, and then you’ll never get out. JODY MARSH: Should we put it all back so they don’t know anything’s missing? JANINE DE LUCA: No. Leave it. We want them to know something’s been stolen. They need to believe it was the purpose of this mission. JODY MARSH: I suppose we need to go back for Amelia now. sighs Oh, I mean, the “primary target”. They haven’t… they haven’t shot her, have they? SAM YAO: Jody! JODY MARSH: Aw, come on! She just betrayed us without a second thought. She’s the worst human being I’ve ever met, and I’ve met Van Ark, Moonchild, Sigrid, John Torode, and Gregg Wallace! I auditioned for MasterChef once. He didn’t like my lavendar cupcakes. Yeah, Gregg, I bet you prefer them to being a zombie, though, wouldn’t you? JANINE DE LUCA: She’s also our primary target, and no, she has not been shot. What’s her location, Mister Yao? SAM YAO: I’m just having a listen. She’s still got her earpiece in. Uh-huh, uh-huh… uh, okay. It sounds like Sigrid’s holed up with her and a few guards in the central security room, but they’re talking about making a break for the front gate. Oh! Those prisoners included some special forces people, who’ve disarmed most of the guards. JANINE DE LUCA: Yes. I thought so. JODY MARSH: Okay. Come on then, Five. We need to get to central security ASAP. SAM YAO: Blimey! She never used to be this bossy. JANINE DE LUCA: Runner Four, Runner Five, report your positions. Most of the prisoners are out, and I’m afraid Sigrid has summoned reinforcements. If you can’t get Miss Spens out now, we’ll have to abandon the plan. JODY MARSH: No, it’s okay. We’re here. We’re right outside the security center. Okay, here goes. throat Oh God! Five, do you think Amelia’s okay? I’m so worried Sigrid might have hurt her for heroically helping us. SAM YAO: You are laying it on a bit thick. JODY MARSH: whispers I’ve practiced! This is as realistic as I could make it sound, Sam! loud I just couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to Amelia. Quick, Five, put on these heat-sensitive goggles Amelia stole for us, and I’ll throw in this smoke grenade that Amelia also stole for us, and we can get her out of here! Ready? Fire in the hole! I mean, smoke in the hole! That one must be Amelia, it’s the right shape. Grab her, Five. AMELIA SPENS: What are you doing? Get off me! JODY MARSH: We’re rescuing you. AMELIA SPENS: I don’t want to be rescued. I’m not with you. I was betraying you to Sigrid. Sigrid, you have to believe me. I was betraying them to you, not the other way around! JODY MARSH: It’s no good, Amelia. She knows the truth. We have to get you out of here. SIGRID HAKKINEN: Shoot them! Just shoot all of them. AMELIA SPENS: Oh God! JODY MARSH: Five, grab Amelia’s arm, and run! JODY MARSH: Okay, looks like we’re clear. I thought those soldiers had got us for a minute, but then that group of prisoners just laid into them. I hope everyone’s okay. AMELIA SPENS: Who cares about them? What about me? What the hell did you think you were doing back there? JODY MARSH: Saving your life. AMELIA SPENS: No, before that. The bit where you were the ones who put my bloody life in danger in the first place! DE LUCA clears throat Janine. JANINE DE LUCA: We were recruiting you, Miss Spens. Or haven’t you worked it out yet? AMELIA SPENS: Janine? Oh God, I should have bloody known. laughs Janine De Luca. I even said that this sounded like one of your plans. Everyone seems quite sure you were dead, though. JANINE DE LUCA: Not quite as dead as reported. However, our circumstances are somewhat straitened. That’s why we need you. AMELIA SPENS: You need me? But I’ve done what you asked. What Jody and Five asked. I got you into the facility. JANINE DE LUCA: And then sold us out to Sigrid the second Jody had finished speaking to you, I imagine. AMELIA SPENS: Janine De Luca, you have the twistiest brain I have ever known. Have you ever considered going into evil? Because I think you’d be amazing at it. I’m an idiot. You knew I’d double-cross you. JODY MARSH: We have met you. AMELIA SPENS: Yes, very funny. Do you have any conception of how badly you’ve screwed me over? Sigrid thinks I betrayed her. I’ll have to talk my way back into her good graces. And you almost got me killed, and you know how I feel about me. So, now, I think it’s time for me to return the favor. I know for a fact that Jody and Five are out of ammo, whereas this semiautomatic I picked up in the facility still has plenty of bullets in the clip. JANINE DE LUCA: You won’t shoot us. We’re the only friends you have left. AMELIA SPENS: Are you? Perhaps you thought I’d feel some loyalty when I saw you alive. It’s sweet, really. But I wonder how friendly Sigrid will be feeling when I pass on the very interesting information that you’re still alive. Don’t follow me. I will shoot. SAM YAO: Bugger. Peter’s close by. Shall I send him to try and intercept her? JANINE DE LUCA: Why would we want to do that, Mister Yao? The plan is working perfectly, and Miss Spens is about to learn a very salutary lesson. Five, Four, run after her, and make sure she doesn’t get in too much trouble. JODY MARSH: That must be her, heading towards that group of soldiers. I can’t really tell from this distance, but I think Sigrid might be with them. If we just follow the line of this hedge, we can stay out of sight. laughs Did you see Amelia’s face when she realized what Janine did to her, Five? Aw, I wish I had a camera. GUARD: There! Get her! AMELIA SPENS: Sigrid! Sigrid, stop shooting. I have vital information for you. SIGRID HAKKINEN: Don’t just stand there. Get after her. AMELIA SPENS: Oh, thank God. Listen, you’re not going to believe this, but Janine De Luca is alive! She was the one who planned the whole thing. SIGRID HAKKINEN: And shoot to kill! AMELIA SPENS: What?! SIGRID HAKKINEN: Loyalty above all, Spens. That’s what the wakened land represents. I’m loyal to those who are loyal to me. And I repay those who betray me in kind. I don’t know why you think I’d believe a single lie that comes out of your mouth. You’ve clearly been in league with the renegades all this time. You’re lucky all I’m going to do is shoot you. AMELIA SPENS: No! You don’t understand. I’ve never been in league with anyone except myself! I know I’m not loyal. I’m something better than that. I’m totally immoral. I sell to the highest bidder. As long as you’re paying, I’m yours! JODY MARSH: I think that’s our cue. Amelia! Amelia, over here! AMELIA SPENS: Get away from me! Why won’t you leave me alone? JODY MARSH: Because we’re saving your life! That’s what friends do for each other. Your plan to convince Sigrid that Janine’s still alive so you could send her on a wild goose chase across the country was a good one, but it hasn’t worked, Amelia! So we’ve come to rescue you, friend. Hurry up. We need to get out of here, fast. AMELIA SPENS: I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill all of you. I’m going to inject you with zombie virus! No, I’m going to find some of that disgusting stuff the people were using to keep themselves alive on the Comansys ships, and inject you with that! No, I’m going to mind control you like Moonchild, and then inject you with that disgusting stuff! JODY MARSH: laughs You’re not, though. AMELIA SPENS: Did you know Jerry wasn’t being held in that prison? Of course you did. You never for a moment thought you’d get him out, did you. You wanted me! Honestly, Jody, I’d have thought you knew by now that there were easier ways to get me. Of course, now I’m going to have to kill you instead, which is a shame. JODY MARSH: Yeah, yeah, let it all out. MAXINE MYERS: laughs Is she still ranting? I thought she’d have calmed down by now. JODY MARSH: She doesn’t look much calmer to me. AMELIA SPENS: Who are you talking to? gasps Wait, don’t tell me. You’re talking to Maxine Myers! She’s alive too, isn’t she? I should have known. JANINE DE LUCA: There’s a lot you should have known. Don’t worry, we’ll fill you in. AMELIA SPENS: That’s the second time today you’ve stepped dramatically from behind a tree, Janine. I think it might be the same tree. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? JODY MARSH: Personally, I’m loving it. Can we do it again tomorrow? Maybe you could try and betray us to the Exmoor Militia. Come on, it’ll be fun! MAXINE MYERS: Could we persuade her to betray us to Netrophil? If Sigrid hasn’t managed to wipe them all out. Or the Illuminati! Are there still Illuminati? SAM YAO: Yeah, I’m pretty sure there are four of them on Rofflenet. JANINE DE LUCA: It was rather a fine plan. As you’ve so ably proven, we could never trust you if you claimed you were helping us voluntarily. But now, as I believe you’ve just discovered, the Minister will never trust you again. It’s either work with us, or try to go it alone against the might of the entire Ministry. Oh, and we did actually steal something from inside that facility while we were there. MAXINE MYERS: Yeah. At a cursory glance, we now know why the weapons in Abel won’t fire on Sigrid’s soldiers. They’re RFID coded, and her loyalists have been injected with RFID tags. The guns won’t fire on anyone who’s been tagged. That’s why our plan to take Abel back failed. JANINE DE LUCA: Vital knowledge when we take back our home. No doubt Sigrid will assume that investigating her weaponry was the entire point of our little plot. And by ours, I mean yours and mine. The plot Sigrid believed we cooked up together. AMELIA SPENS: You’re right. That’s exactly the kind of scheme I’d come up with. I’m so attracted to you right now. Alright then, take me back to whatever shabby hellhole you’re currently using as a base. I suppose I’d better get used to slumming it. JODY MARSH: Aw, hang on. I’ve just realized – if she’s on our side, she’s going to be around the whole time. There’ll be no getting rid of her. AMELIA SPENS: Indeed. And I must say, I am looking forward to working with you most of all, Jody. We’re going to have so much fun together. JODY MARSH: Oh God.Category:Mission Category:Season Five